Let’s manifest something better

It’s tempting when your kiddo is rejecting the dinner that you just made to blurt out in frustration, “Auggg, you’re so picky!” I’ve been asking parents to switch up the language and stop calling their kids picky.

Here are a few reasons that we should stop:

• Labels stick. Children hear and absorb the words we use about them. Calling a child “picky” can make them feel like this is a done deal and not something they can grow through.
• It can make dinner feel even more stressful. Calling a kiddo “picky” might just make them more likely to dig their heels. Ideally, we want to be neutral and to Say Less. Place the meal on the table and say “Here you go”.
• It doesn’t address what’s really going on. There’s a reason that your kiddo is being so picky. Their actions are communicating something to us. It’s our job to figure out why eating is so hard.
• Kids can change and learn to like new foods. If we keep calling them picky (and they keep calling themselves picky) then there’s no reason to branch out beyond their comfort foods.

Here’s what we can do instead:

• Have a “secret signal” with our partner that we can use if they forget and go down the “picky eater” route. Ear tug? Cough, cough? Light nudge under the table?
• When kiddo calls themselves a “picky eater”, remind them that they can learn about new foods just like they can learn other new skills. Soccer practice is to get ready for the game. Piano practice is for the recital. Driving practice is in preparation of solo driving. Your script: “no calling yourself a picky eater. You’re practicing and learning about new foods”.
• Be food neutral. Refrain from calling packaged foods “junk/garbage/unhealthy”. Food is food and labeling some foods in a negative way may cause your kiddo to feel more shame about the foods that they DO eat.
• Manifest a more adventurous eater: Remind your kiddo, “I can learn about new foods” (maybe post that somewhere in the kitchen?)
• Focus on what your kiddo DOES like and build on that food.

Snack Idea: English muffin pizza

Reach out at Karen@CoastalFamilyNutrition.com or call the office at 603-674-2479.

Please feel free to share this with someone who may like to learn more about feeding kiddos!