Q: “I know I shouldn’t do this, but it’s working! My kid will eat their dinner to get dessert. What do you think?”

A: I grew up at a time when the “Clean Plate Club” was real. We had to eat what had been served to us in order to get mom’s homemade cookies. My mom is a gold-level cookie baker so I’d choke down my peas or tuna casserole to make sure that I got those cookies! As a pediatric Dietitian I don’t recommend this strategy and here are a few reasons why:

1. It sets up the “good food/bad food” dichotomy that we’re trying to avoid with food. When we say “eat this (bad) food so you can get that (good) food, it inherently makes whatever “that food” is more attractive and desirable. How often do you hear “how many bites do I need to eat before I can have dessert?” Negotiating bites for treats can be a slippery slope.

2. Depending on your kiddo’s age, they may be in a people-pleasing developmental stage and will eat what has been plated for them in order to please you—the dessert gatekeeper. Other kids (hello tweens, teens & toddlers) are naturally in a developmental phase where they’re asserting independence and may take the opportunity to enter into power struggle. Power struggles around food can sabotage your goal to raise a healthy, competent eater.

3. When sweet treats are restricted, kids feel a sense of deprivation and may begin to sneak foods.

4. When your kiddo takes a bite of green beans (or whatever food they need to eat to get dessert) do they learn to like that food and ask for it later? Or do they continue to see green beans as the food that they need to suffer through to get to the good stuff?

5. Pushing kids to finish those last few bites may cause them to override their fullness so they can get dessert.

A strategy to try: put a small amount of dessert (cookie, brownie, candy) on their plate along with the green beans and allow them to eat in the order they’d like. With time, dessert might stop being something to battle about and will be just a food to enjoy!